(It also proves to her that she was right, that it was her father following her all this time, and she so desperately wants to reach out, to share all these things, but that's over and she has to remember that, even if her gut reaction is to reach out. She hates how painful it is.)
The biggest change though, is trying to figure out how to approach her father, how to approach him being here, in front of her, as if no time had passed. Having Walter sitting on her couch, only a little bit away from her, having a beer and laughing about the ‘good old days' has her feeling conflicted. Because when one good thing happens in her life, another goes wrong, and she's getting so tired of that being the only way her life plays out. But Walter, her father, the man who had saved her so many times before in his own way, is here, trying to explain as to why he went away. As to why he lied to her. Why he let her believe that he died in that car accident years ago.
He tells her that there were men after him. That he had stolen from the wrong people, and that he couldn't let her get into trouble because of him. If he ‘died' it would be like a debt was paid, and while it killed him to leave her like that, he had no choice. "It was to save you, Faith," he says gently, and she swallows the words that are at her throat. The words that make her want to go back to being that young girl again, trying to do anything to make ends meet, getting caught by him trying to rob the exact same jewelry store that he was. His plan was better than hers. He knew what he was doing. He always knew what he was doing. But he didn't always take her into account. Story of her life.
"To save me?" She finally snaps, as she sets her glass down and stares at him, "Do you know how many times I've heard that lately? To save me? Why can't people believe that I can save myself?" Faith's voice has anger in it. It has pain, it's all the emotions that she doesn't think she really has a right to feel, because she doesn't believe that she's worth the trouble. She's falling back to the bottom, to square one and she can feel it, and it frustrates her to no end. She had made so much progress. She had started to get back to the person she wanted to be. A look of disappointment crosses her face, but she's not sure what she's more disappointed at.
Walter protests, his hands up in a placating manner, "Faith, I got involved with some awful people. They wanted me dead. You were at risk of getting hurt. I couldn't allow that to happen!"
"I'm always at fucking risk of getting hurt! You left, and you let me believe you were dead. I mourned you. I was constantly fighting something, and you don't know half the fucking crap that I've gone through in just this year alone." She narrowed her eyes and leaned forward, as she held out her hand, counting on her fingers, "I have been blackmailed, I've been shot at, I've been kidnapped, I've been stabbed, I've been stolen from, I've been attacked, I've had my apartment destroyed, I've lost friends, I've had by heart ripped out, and this is just since November! So don't tell me that I was at risk for being hurt, I am well aware of the risk that I am always in." Faith sighed heavily and stood up from the couch, and walked over to the window. She's shaking at how angry she is, all the emotions that she's trying so hard to keep in. She had been doing so well, and it kills her.
"Pumpkin, if I had known all of that was going to happen, I would have stayed. But I did what I thought was best at the time. You can't blame me for that." His voice was soft, it was calm, as if he was trying to make sure not to upset her more than he might have already. Sure, some of her anger towards him was deserved, but the rest of it, well it wasn't his fault. She knew that.
"I..." Her arms were around her now, as if she was trying to protect herself from something, but she wasn't sure what it was anymore. "I know." She looked out through the window, sighing softly, "I know. I'm just tired of being happy and then having it get ripped away. Or being stuck in a never ending cycle of bad luck. It's just not me. I don't know what I...did to deserve all this. I just want something to feel like it's going right. Because it was. And I was…" She stops short of finishing her sentence, and clears her throat. She sighs heavily and turns around to look at him. To look at her father.
"Why are you back?" She finally asked, leaning against the wall, keeping some distance. It had been three days of talking about why he left, about what happened, about where he had been all this time. How Walter was trying to live a good life, one that he thought Faith might be proud of. Sure, he was still a conman, he always would be, but he was conning people who weren't so great out of their money. Not the poor or the innocent. It was, as it seemed, just how it used to be when Walter and Faith worked together, when they brought in Matt and Lindsey into the fold, and the four of them worked cons together.
"Because I missed you, Faith," He says softly, and she shakes her head.
"People miss a lot of things. You need a better answer."
Walter sighs, as he stands up and looks over to his daughter, "Because I have a way to even the score, and I thought you'd want to be a part of it."
She rolls her eyes. "There it is." There is a pause before she shakes her head and runs a hand through her hair. "Fine. Tell me what it is. But you can't stay here. I'll get you a hotel room or something, okay?"
He nods, accepting in the compromise, though he has a look of sadness on his face. She knows that it's going to take her a long time to forgive him, but somewhere deep down she knows he did it because he cared. Because he wanted to keep her safe, so she could live her life.
All she could think about was how disappointing of a life she seemed to be living. And somewhere, in the back of her mind, she whispered I'm sorry. Because she knew the people who needed to hear it, wouldn't ever hear it.
Walter starts in on the story, on the plan, and she gets another glass of wine. For now, all of this, it's a good distraction. At least, until it's over. But she's just thankful that she's not stuck with her own thoughts for now.