Not that you ever really needed to have another set of memories and another life, but you get it. You know a few that it's happened to, and you know a few that it's worked out well for. You've been leaving letters for Felicia for months now, and you both have a correspondence going on. You've actually started to look forward to the letters, because she's the only one who really understands everything you're going through. Because she's feeling it too. The sudden loss of someone you cared about. The sudden return of your father (and it reminds Felicia of her father and that situation as well). Even the job Walter has asked you to run with him, it reminds her of better times. She tells you all of this in the latest letter, and you write back.
You tell her that you actually wish there was a way that you two could just combine already, because you're getting sick and tired of not having full control over anything in your life. The club is doing significantly better, of course, and business is booming. But something is missing. There's a hole that hasn't been filled, and it's bothering you. In almost two weeks, you'll turn 39, and you wanted things to have happened by now. You had even had a dumb romantic trip planned (thank god you were able to get insurance and the trip refunded, after some...mind control), because you wanted to take the next step in your life. There's a lot of things that you wanted, that you expected for yourself, that you expected to have felt towards you, and yet...you keep end up disappointed. Of course, there are things to be grateful for. There are things you're lucky to have. But you just for once, want something to go right on your terms. To go right in the ways you know will work for you.
So when you tell Felicia in your latest letter that you wish that both of you could be around the whole time, it's because you want to feel like you're in control. That you want to feel as though your life isn't still constantly in flux. You just want something, anything to help you feel like you're yourself again. You know Felicia agrees. She has a weird gap that she's not comfortable with either, and she wants to fix it too. You both do. But it doesn't happen so you just keep writing. Keep each other in the loop. Don't keep anything from each other. It's helpful that you like her, and you don't mind being stuck with her. Both of you are so similar in a lot of ways, that your pairing made sense. You're thankful for that.
But another week comes and goes and it doesn't happen, but you don't think much of it. It's at Alex's 4th of July party that you're starting to feel a bit more like yourself. This is your element. You don't have so much weight on your shoulders right now, and you feel a little freer, though you can't place your finger on why. You spend the day drinking, grilling, chatting, flirting, enjoying the day. Because you're not sure when you'll get another day like this, where for once you feel completely under control, that you don't feel like you're letting people down or not living up to expectations that can't be met. You're just Faith Harris, and you're here to have a good time.
Until the fireworks start, and everyone around you gets a pain in their head and you recognize it, and suddenly Felicia Hardy is in your head too. She's confused, because it's Tuesday, not Sunday, and she only just left -- why is she back so soon? You find yourself wondering that too, but it seems to have happened to everyone else at the party. For just the smallest of moments, both you and Felicia look around the party for a specific person, and then immediately feeling the guilt and shame of once again looking for what will never come back , cursing under your breath.
As a small amount of confusion happens around you, and you know that Alex is not quite Alex right now, you break away from him and the rest of the party, grabbing a drink and heading over to the corner of the balcony where you (and Felicia) can be alone, watching the fireworks in all their beauty, watching the people celebrating below.
And as it hits midnight and the fireworks end, the headache fades away, and you just figure it was a quick little 'event'. You have, after all, been told these weird events have happened before, even if this wasn't as dramatic as what you've been told.
Oh thank god, the headache is gone, a voice says, and you freeze. Because you know the voice. It's in your head. And it's Felicia.
As everyone around you seems to be not knowing what has happened (minus the few you know have blended with their other side) you realize that this event has stopped for everyone else. But Felicia, she's still here.
And while you're confused and know you suddenly have a lot to catch up on, at least you finally have control over an aspect of your life that you had been missing.